Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
