Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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