you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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