I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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