I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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