He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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