Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
