I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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