I got chris browned last night
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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