During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
