I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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