Pants 0. Shit 1.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
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Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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