Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
