Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
