fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
