I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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