saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
