SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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