Pappa wants mamma naked
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My life is pants optional.
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