I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
