he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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