dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm at about main and main street
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
