i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
