So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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