why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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