ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
