her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
