Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
