But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
