FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
so much tequila, so little girl.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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