When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
