Soap is not a condiment
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
