Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She needs sedatives and a leash
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
