Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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