we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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