fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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