I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
