i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
