I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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