sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
