I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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