YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
