Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
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He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
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he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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