Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you mean i was at the winter classic?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
