guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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