Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
