Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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