come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You're a waste of cheezeits
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
