Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
