Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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