my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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