somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
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We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
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Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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