Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i think i have two assholes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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