My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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