its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
