Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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