Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
