Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
How's work?
Spinning.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
