fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize