wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize