My Higher Power is John Stamos
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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