8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize