proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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