I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
