you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
