Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
